Orlando had never seen a quiet night, but the most quiet must have been that night, between Halle and JC. Together they sat in uncomfortable silence, their minds on everything else than what it should have been, the situation ahead of them. Halle keep stealing small glances at JC, ones she didn't need to. She couldn't get him out of her head anyway. Always, it seemed he had this effect on her. Six months hadn't changed that any. If anything, it had become even more, even stronger. As they said, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." And unfortunately for her, it seemed that they had been right.

JC's mind was riveted on Halle. When she had fallen silent, he had attributed it to the fact that she was worried. The silence was getting to him though; he didn't want her to worry so, especially over this. He was sure everything was going to be fine. Too bad he couldn't say the same for everything else, but he didn't want to think about that right now.

Unbeknownst to Halle, he was also stealing glances shyly at her. She was peering out the window into the sea of darkness that only she imagined, but never was. He was 'checking up' on Halle every few minutes, making sure that despite his deepest fears, she was still with him. In her silence, he felt sometimes she wasn't there. Of course she was there, bodily, but he still felt she had gone and maybe he was right. If not physically, then certainly mentally she was gone.. But where had she gone to? He glanced at her again, nervously.

Suddenly their eyes met. They stared at each other for a second when JC broke it off to look at the road once more. She sighed loudly as he did, knowing that they had seen each other.

"Halle, don't worry. Everything will be alright." JC's voice came out of the dark to greet her.

"You can't know the future anymore than I can." But she wasn't being impertinent, she was telling him what she knew.

He hardly understood. "Look, Halle, everything will be fine once we get there. They can't have thrown away all your..."

"I'm not talking about the Marriott, JC," she interrupted him. "There are more important things than that."

He knew there were more important things, but he seemed confused for a moment. "Halle, you know, you didn't have to say yes if you didn't want to go. Just because my parents were in the same room..."

She shook her head quickly. "No, I wasn't thinking about that either. I want to go, really I do. Thank you for inviting me," she added.

"No, no need to thank me. But if it's not any of those things on you mind... do you mind me asking what is? Something must be up, you're so quiet all of a sudden."

He met with silence as he waited for an answer.

No answer came, his sigh was audible. "Nevermin..."

"I was thinking about you."

He raised his eyebrow and glanced briefly at her, though she only stared straight ahead, refusing to look at him.

"I was thinking about a lot of things in general," she went on. "Not only you, but also Josh, your parents... Raul."

"Raul?!" he exclaimed in surprise.

"Yes, Raul," she confirmed with a sigh. "Parenthood, my parents and yours, and even more... fatherhood."

"Is that why you were thinking of Raul?" he asked gently, glancing at her briefly as he asked the question.

He saw she nodded before he returned his gaze to the road ahead of him. She was lost, still lost in her own thoughts. "And I was thinking about Josh too."

"What about him?" he inquired.

"He... he has no one.."

"That's not true," JC argued. "He has you." He was about to add that he had him too, but he wondered if that was wise.

She laughed bitterly. "Yes, he has me, but that's not enough is it? I want to give him the world, yet all I have is me."

"Oh, Hal, don't be so hard on yourself, " he said steering the Jeep down the road lit with lights and all-night fluorescent signs. They were nearing the Marriott. "You are more than enough. You give him everything he needs, you give him love..."

"Stop, JC," she said wearily. "He needs a father and sooner or later he's going to figure out that he doesn't have one and he's going to ask why. What am I going to tell him then?"

JC cleared his throat. But he wasn't pondering her question, he already knew what he wanted to say. Whether or not he should, rather, was the question at hand. He didn't know how she would react, if she'd even understand. "It doesn't have to be that way," he said slowly, hesitating even as he said it.

As if on cue, Halle's head jerked his way and he knew he didn't have to worry, she understood. She knew what he was implying. In her mind, it was loud and clear. "He needs a father," she said after a few short moment of silence. Her throat felt dry, she hadn't known what to say, so she restated the obvious.

"He has me," he insisted.

"But you're not his father..." JC knew where this was going and he didn't want that.

"Do you want Raul to come back?" he asked, interrupting her before she could continue. "I'm more of a father to Josh than he could ever hope to be and you know it, Halle. Don't even try denying it because you'll lose. I'm the closest Josh has ever come to a father. I love him Halle, don't ever question that, and he loves me. Only you have a problem with it because I can never claim paternity on a DNA test. Halle, being a father isn't about what it says on some paper, it's about what it says in your heart." He paused but she was silent.

"You don't want Raul, you know that, at least not the Raul you know in reality. You want to mold him into the kind of father Josh needs, the kind you want Josh to have. Well, Halle, I have something here that you don't need to mold. It's natural. Yet you don't want it. I'll never be Raul, Halle. I never want to be. I can't understand a man like that, who would desert someone like you and his own child. But don't make me pay for his mistakes. It's not fair to any of us."

Tears were already coursing down her cheeks before he even stopped. She knew what he was accusing her of and she knew he was right. As much as she didn't want to admit it, she knew he was right. Why did he have the ability to read her so well? Was she that transparent?

Her tears were for everyone: her, Josh, him, Raul. She closed her eyes silently as the Jeep lurched forward as with her heart. It felt to the point of breaking. JC had brought her to this point, where she never wanted to be, but knew deep down that one day she would have to come. But she didn't want to break him down, she didn't want to hurt him for hurting her.

See, it was not her first time here. She had been here all along, but it was only now she realized what was in front of her eyes, the truth she had been hiding from no one but her. They could all see the truth; why couldn't she? She felt foolish. Yes, she had been here all along, Raul had brought her here and left her there as he had left her in real life. JC didn't bring her back, how could he? She was already there. Instead, he wanted to rescue her. But did she want to be rescued? She was afraid to move. She had been here for so long, she wasn't sure if she had the courage to leave.

JC was afraid of her, afraid of what it meant. Had he gone too far yet again? But he was not sorry, at least not for this. It was something she needed to hear and he knew it. Still, he didn't like the idea that she was mad at him for the truth. And then he looked over at her and he saw her silent tears and instantly, he was sorry. "Halle, say something, please," he begged her. He couldn't stand to she her cry and know that he was guilty of those tears.

She took her time. He was about to ask her again when he heard her voice, low and faint, but there. "Forgive me JC," she said quietly and then squeezed her eyes shut, trying to hide from the demons inside of her. "We're here." Now she was staring straight ahead. She couldn't bear to stare anywhere else. It was something inside of her that made her shut down.

"Halle, it's not important..." But she didn't say a word, just opened the door calmly and stepped out, though tears still ran down her cheek.

Quickly, JC ran over to her, where she stood motionless, just looking at the hotel. "Halle, please. Don't be mad at me for the truth.."

Halle shook her head. "I'm not mad at you."

"Yes you are..."

She shook her head. "No, I'm not."

"Yes you are," he insisted. "Look at you, you're not yourself."

She turned to him calmly, as if she could do nothing else. "No, I'm not myself. I can't live with myself right now, but everything will be alright. You'll see."

JC was puzzled by her change in attitude. He thought she'd be mad, he wished she'd be mad. At least he'd know what she thought. Instead though, she remained calm. She was acting so strangely, it was tearing him apart. I can't live with myself right now. Her words echoed in his mind. He wondered what she meant. There were things deep inside her that he did not know. Forgive her she had said. Forgive her for what?

But she moved forward, no longer looking at him, just the hotel as she walked purposefully to its entrance. He didn't know what had happened to Halle, but he thought it better to just shut up and follow her. Her state of mind had found some fragile equilibrium. He wasn't going to be the one to shatter. She paused to look at him as she stood by the door, waiting for him. He picked up the pace and walked forward to meet her, still engulfed in silence. He had nothing to say. He just hoped what she said was true. Everything would be alright.

-*-*-*-

Everything had been alright, or so it seemed in the morning, to everyone but JC. Halle had returned to the hotel, animated once she had seen her son. But he couldn't forget earlier that night. To tell the truth, her behavior had half scared him. She seemed a shell of herself, nothing more. He had lain awake in bed for a long time, just thinking over that night, and what could have possibly set her off so. She had told him she wasn't mad, but nothing more. No explanation. It was harping on his mind. The last time she had acted this way...

Finally, he feel asleep. He didn't know what time it was, but it must have been either very late in the night, or early in the morning. He didn't sleep well, but that was a given even before he closed his eyes.

He opened his eyes once more to take in the bright light and he put his hand over his eyes to shield them. For a minute, he didn't remember where he was, or why, but then it all came back to him. He was at Justin's house, in his own room. Tour was over and Halle was back. He wished that's all there was to it, but that was just a summary. There was so much more there, so much read in between the lines. For the first time, JC felt he was in over his head.

'Ring!' JC groaned as his phone emitted the high, noisy sound. Let someone else get it, he thought. He didn't even want move, much less have to carry on a conversation. But that was to be as Justin's voice rang out. "JC, phone!" He heard footsteps up the stairs and not a moment later, a knock. "Are you awake, man?" Justin called through the door. When he heard nothing, he put the phone back to his ear. "Sorry, Halle, he's not..."

Just then, the door burst open. As soon as JC had heard her name, he pulled the door open. Justin stopped mid-sentence as he peered at JC. "Whoa, that was fast," he commented to JC before smiling and talking to Halle once again. "Nevermind, Halle. He's right here. Hold on." He was grinning as the handed the phone to JC. "I see how it is," he said with a big grin before he walked down the stairs.

JC hardly paid any attention to Justin as he took the phone and held it up to his ear. It was awhile before JC said, "Hello." It was breathless and soft, falling on Halle's ears as a melody.

"Hi," she greeted, nervous. She had been nervous this morning, when she opened her eyes and thought of him. She had been nervous when she got out of bed, put her robe on, and brushed her teeth, She had been nervous as she stroked Josh's dark silky hair and watched him sleep and also remembered... that night.

She hadn't been herself that night as she realized what a weakling she had really been. Independence had been her salvation back then, but it had abandoned her now. She told herself she was doing alright, but it was one big lie. She had been doing alright, before JC... just thinking of him sent shivers down her spine.

He didn't deserve this, she knew, but she knew not what to do otherwise. That's when her instinct took over and her instinct was a dangerous thing. From her life before Josh, and her life after, she had remodeled herself and had taken the long hard road of change she was required to walk. Josh had been a milestone. And now JC was too... But was she willing to travel that road yet again? Would she go that far... for him?

"I guess," she started hesitantly as silence had permeated the air, "That I should apologize for yesterday. I wasn't myself. I was really stressed." She could have sworn that she heard him say something under his breath. She sighed, realizing that she would be the one who would have to carry on this conversation. She had expected nothing less. "I..." she started.

But she was surprised as JC's voice interrupted her. "Hal, you had me really worried about you last night." His voice was lower and prolonged.

"I know JC, and I'm sorry." She paused. "You didn't deserve any of it. None of it was your fault; it was me. The stress just got to be too much."

They were silent again, but as she started to speak, he spoke. "What had you so stressed?" he asked.

Though he couldn't see, she had closed her eyes on the other side of the phone. "JC," she said quietly. "Can we not talk about it right now?"

JC nodded slowly on the other side of the phone till he realized she couldn't see. He cleared his throat. "Yes... If that's what you want."

"Yes, that's what I want," she said firmly.

"Alright, Hal. Just remember... I'll always be here if you need me."

That changed it all for her and once more she wanted to cry. "Thank you," she whispered. "JC?" she asked.

"Hmm?" he answered.

"Can we forget about yesterday? I know it's not easy, but I'm sorry you ever had to see that."

Forget about yesterday. He would have laughed at the proposal, but he couldn't, he wouldn't. He had heard Halle's voice, thick with emotion. But he didn't say anything in those moments. Silence had seemed to dominate their entire conversation.

Halle sighed. "I don't blame you for thinking I'm weird. When I get too stressed, I have a tendency to react like that. I don't usually, but there was a time when I did. You have to realize there's a lot on my mind and it's overwhelming..."

"When was that time?" he asked.

She paused, but breathed slowly to know that JC was talking to her. "When else? One of the most trying times of my entire life. When my parents disowned me and I had no one."

JC stilled at that. She never spoke that much on that time in her life and he couldn't blame her. But he was stuck on the fact that she had said it was only one of the most trying times of her life. He involuntarily sucked in his breath. "When was the other?" he asked, as if he needed an answer.

Her voice was soft, faint as she answered. "You know."

She was right. He did.

She cleared her voice. "So tell me about this party you invited me too." Her voice was more airy and happy, sounding lighter and happier. It was abrupt and he could picture her smiling. She had done a complete turn around.

It was right then that he knew she didn't want to talk about it anymore. He wasn't going to be the one to pressure her into opening up anymore; it was amazing that she had told him as much as she did already. He was grateful for that.

"Well... the party is at Arista. I was invited because it's one of those connections party's and my manager knows I want to start producing and this is a great way to get your name around."

"What's the dress?" Halle asked quickly as if onto more important things.

"Well, it doesn't say specifically, but every one of the parties I've been to like that has been formal."

Halle raised her brows. "As in gown?"

"Well... yes," said JC awkwardly.

"Oh, dang. I should have known when I saw your mother's dress."

"What's wrong?" he asked quickly as he sensed the distress in her voice.

"Ok, JC, I bring a gown with me every time I come to spend two days in Orlando," she answered sarcastically. "Oh wait... hold on JC. Someone's at the door." She put the phone down before he could respond and went to the door, wondering who it could be. She only wore her robe which she pulled tighter around her.

She opened it to find a bellhop. "Yes?" she asked hesitantly as she watched him.

"Ms. Lin, you have another call waiting. She says it's very urgent. If you could just hang up with the caller you are presently with, we put the other call through."

"Who is it?" she asked. arching her brow at his request.

"A Miss Treyton, ma'am," he answered politely.

She covered her mouth as she realized that it was Kel. She looked at him with wild eyes. "Give me two seconds," she said in a hurry as she crossed the room back to the phone.

"JC," she said, picking up the line once again. "I need to call you back, bye." He didn't even have a chance to respond as she slammed the phone down and looked over at the bellhop.

He saw her and nodded his head before closing the door. She quickly turned her attention back to the phone as bad thoughts flowed through her head. What if Kel was hurt? In the hospital? What if it was serious. She knew that lately, Kel had been working herself harder than ever. She was worried even before Kel's voice came over the phone.

On the first ring, she picked it up. "Hello?" she asked.

"Halle?" asked Kel's voice. "Are you alright? I had a hell of a time tracking you to the Hyatt!"

It was so good to hear Kel's voice again. Halle missed her. "Of course I'm alright, Kel. And you?"

"Don't change the subject, we're talking about you."

"But I'm alright," Halle said, confused, wondering what Kel could be talking about.

"Then why isn't your butt in New York?"

"Oh," was all Halle could say. Of course, she knew why her butt wasn't in New York. She was just looking for a good way to tell Kel.

"Oh, is right. Now why?"

"Well," Halle started sheepishly. "It's a long story."

"Oh, believe me, I'm listening. You got as much time as you want, best friend, so spill it."

Halle grimaced slightly. "Well, you see, JC found out I was here..."

"JC?! Did you say JC?" Kel exclaimed.

"Yeah..."

"As in the one you've been stuck on from the time he left in August?"

"I wasn't stuck on him!" she cried indignantly.

"Oh, come on, Hal. Don't give me that bull. It's getting old. Now go on with your story."

"Hmph," she huffed. "Well, he came over and talked me into staying and that's all there is to it."

Kel didn't believe her for one minute. "Ummhmm, Hal. Like you're so easy to convince, Miss I'm-not stuck-on-him! I know there's more you're not telling me."

Halle sighed. Nothing got past Kel. "Ok, so we got into an argument. Ok, he was the one that did the talking..."

"And how did this have any bearing on making you stay?" interrupted Kel. "When someone argues with you, you usually leave."

Ugh, sometimes Kel was abominable. Right, but abominable. "Ok, so he told me the truth!"

"And what did he tell you?" she pressed on.

"That... that I was a fool." Surprisingly, Kel didn't say anything, completely unlike her. "What?" Halle asked when she had paused a moment too long.

"It's about time," Kel answered.

"What?!" exclaimed Halle. "You thought I was a fool?" she asked.

"Of course you were." Kel said matter-of-factly. "My best friend, but still a fool."

"Well, well... Why didn't you tell me?!" she asked, not knowing what else to say. She silently agreed with Kel.

"Would you have listened?" For a minute, Halle was silent. She knew the answer as well as Kel. It did not need to be said. Kel sighed. "Hal, we all play the fool sometimes, even the best of us."

Halle bit her lip to stop the tears from welling up in her eyes. Kel sighed. She knew Halle was crying, but this had been coming for a long time. It was not her place to stop it, nor would she try.

She let Halle have a few moments to cry before she spoke again. "So how are things with JC? I mean, obviously, you realized it was the truth and stayed."

Halle sniffed. "I met his parents."

"You met his parents?! This is a new development. How do you like your future in-laws?"

"Kel!" she said, her spirit returning and her tears fading. "They are not my future in-laws!"

Kel laugh. "Uh huh, Halle. Whatever you say. So how are they?"

Halle laughed despite herself. "They are just fine, thank you! I like them very much. They are so sweet! JC is lucky to have them as parents."

"How does Josh like them?" she asked. "He is well, I take it."

Halle smiled. "Josh is just fine, he likes them too. In fact, I left him with them yesterday."

"You left him with them? Whoa, Hal, you've got it bad!"

"Shut up, Kel," she said playfully. "I've got it no worse than you ever thought."

Kel chuckled. "Then you've got it bad, cause if you had it the why I thought you did, you're in deep. Ok, so give me the new emergency numbers. In case I need to reach you."

"Well, this one of course, and JC's too..." She didn't even think about it as she rambled off Justin's number that she had memorized just an hour ago.

"Alright," said Kel, as she wrote the numbers down. "Hey," she said. "You never answered my question. How is JC?"

"Well," she said hesitantly. "He's ok..."

Kel scoffed. "Oh, give it up Hal. You're a horrible liar, especially when it comes to JC. What are you not telling me?"

"Ok, so we're not alright..."

"You said 'we're'," Kel pointed out.

"Yes, Kel," she almost screamed. "We're not alright." Kel took it into account that she was no longer denying it. "Well... This is hard," she said.

Kel hurried on. "I trust you are strong enough to overcome it, now spit it out."

"Alright," she said dismally. "Remember my...uh...crisis?"

Kel didn't need to be told twice to what Halle was referring to. "Of course," she answered.

"Remember how I just shut down?" she asked.

"Oh yeah," said Kel. "That was scary. It takes a lot to scare me, but you did."

"Well, I did it to JC yesterday."

Kel was silent as she realized what Halle had done.

"I didn't mean to!" Halle cried. "It was just... too much. Ugh, I was thinking about Josh and his father and JC..."

Suddenly, Kel knew what she needed to do. It was like a gut instinct; she was no longer listening to Halle ramble because she already knew what was being said. "Halle!"

"What?" asked Halle, interrupted.

"I'm really sorry to do this to you, but I really need to go. I need to get ready for Alex, he's going to be here in less than ten minutes!" The lie slipped off her tongue as easy as butter.

"Oh, " said Halle, trying not to let the disappointment seep through her voice. "Hey, you don't have to be sorry," she said as she prepared to tell Kel good-bye.

"I have to go now, but I do need to be sorry."

"Good-bye," said Halle. "And you don't need to be sorry," she said before hanging up the phone.

Kel gave one last quick good-bye before hanging up the phone. Oh, but I do need to be sorry. Forgive me, Halle.

-*-*-*-

The phone at the Harless residence rang again. This time JC didn't wait for someone else to pick it up. He lunged at it first ring and got it. "Hello," he said breathlessly, expecting Halle.

He couldn't have been more surprised. "Hello, JC. I need to talk to you."

"Kel?!" he asked.

She laughed. "Good memory for someone you only met once."

"The best..." he said, still confused as to why she was calling him.

"You're probably wondering why I'm calling you." A regular Sherlock Holmes, he thought.

"Um, yeah."

"Right," she said sweetly. "This is not exactly a social call. I needed to speak to you about Halle..." She wastes no time getting to the point, he observed.

"What about Halle?" JC asked quickly, his ears perking up to her name.

Kel laughed. "I knew that would get your attention! Anyway, listen up, loverboy. I need to talk to you about yesterday..."

-*-*-*-

Ring!

"Hello," said JC, picking up quickly. He had just gotten off the phone with Kel and his mind was a jumble. She had given him so many instructions on how to handle such an occurrence as yesterday.

"JC!" yelled Halle. "I had almost given up on you! Your phone had been busy for the last thirty minutes!"

"Oh yeah," he answered, remembering that Kel had asked him not to Halle she had called him. "Umm, Justin was on the phone with his... hair stylist. He was, umm, thinking of uhh... shaving his head."

"Shaving his head?" Halle asked. "Look, I know he likes to make a statement, like he did with overkill with the peroxide bottle, but I think it must have killed a few brain cells because shaving his head would be a BIG mistake. Not to mention the fan population you'd lose, so persuade him not to do it."

"Ugh, yeah. That's what I told him."

"Anyway, I'm sorry..."

"Halle," JC said, cutting her off. "Don't apologize. I understand."

"Ok," she said. If only she knew just how much he understood, or rather, just how much Kel had made him understand.

"So what we're we talking about?"

"Umm," he answered as he thought. "The party."

"Right the party and I was telling you about... my lack of a dress!" said Halle quickly as she realized her predicament. She was silent for a few minutes as she thought about it. "Ok, the party is when?"

"Tomorrow," he said, as an idea formulated in his head.

"Tomorrow?" she screeched. "I have a day to find a gown and I don't even know where to go? Okay. I've got a day," she said more calmly. "I'll call a cab and find out where the best place to go is..."

He laughed.

"Hey!" she exclaimed. "This is no laughing matter!"

"Halle," he said, interrupting her yet again, though not stopping his laughter and his smile.

"What?" she asked.

"Do you want to go find a dress with me?"

-*-*-*-

"Girl, you sure are picky!" JC exclaimed after Halle had been through her 25th shop. They'd been to 3 malls already and still, Halle hadn't found anything she liked enough to buy. JC was sure he'd covered at least 6 miles by foot and over 50 by Jeep as they zoomed and zigzagged all over the city, looking for the perfect dress. Halle would accept nothing less than perfection. JC had never seen determination such as hers... well, over a garment anyway. "You're worse than Justin!"

Halle laughed. "Don't compare me to Mr. 'Baby-blue is definitely my color!'. I'm not that egotistical!"

JC had to laugh at that one. He knew Justin had been guilty of saying that more than once. "He's just joking. Besides, he's young and impetuous..."

"Why does everyone say that?! The young are not always impetuous!" Halle argued.

"Ok, so maybe not all the young are impetuous, but Justin is... sometimes. Anyway, he's just a cheese who likes to ham it up..."

"Oh! Stop JC! You're making my hungry! Where are we going next?" JC had been making her laugh all day. She forgot about her problems and just let the day be. JC had seemed to also and she was glad for that. There was nothing hanging over her head and she was grateful to him.

"Well, I think I have just the place," he answered. "You up for it? We can go eat now if you want and shop later."

She shook her head. "I couldn't eat knowing I have," she checked her watch. "About seven hours left to shop. I have to find a dress."

JC groaned. "Halle, you've gotta eat. Is this going to get to the point where we're both going to pass out?"

"Aww. Is Mister Tummy grumbling?" she asked with a smile.

"Yes, but I think that's your stomach you're listening to at the moment."

She laughed. "Ok, I promise. Last store before we break for lunch. Deal?"

"Make it brunch and you got a deal," he said, remembering he hadn't eaten that morning. He'd forgotten to do a lot that morning... like shave. He wondered if she noticed. Of course, he couldn't begin to guess how one could even miss the dark cloud of stubble that hovered over his chin and above his upper lip. He hoped he didn't look too bad.

He turned his Jeep in the direction of the boutique that he had spoken about and hoped that maybe, just maybe, this was the one. He grimaced as he thought of how long the day might yet be.

-*-*-*-

The dressing room was strewn with gowns, some carefully laid down by the sales lady and some not so carefully laid down by Halle. The dressing was an array of color, design, and materials, taffetas and silks, slinky and poufy. But yet, Halle could not find even one she liked enough to buy. She was wondering about cost a little, because although she knew she could be a little extravagant, she did not want to be that extravagant. Her budget would be ruined and she had just paid the rent on all the other monthly bills. She'd have to wait for next month's paycheck to inflate her bank account once again because she had to concentrate on more important things... like Josh... for a month. No, she couldn't afford to be too extravagant when she had to worry about food and other expenses incurred, much more pertinent. Precautions, precautions she knew... she was better safe than sorry.

She sighed. She'd have stomped in frustration, but she was too tired. Trying on dresses had worn her out. Plus, she was running low on energy because she had skipped breakfast this morning, She was just too nervous. JC had gotten his parents to look after Josh for him again and they themselves said they might do some shopping later that day and take Josh along with them. Halle couldn't get over how wonderful they had been, especially today. She was leaving her son with them a awful lot and she didn't want to be seen as a negligent mother, but they seemed to enjoy spending time with him.

Just then, a knock came on the door. She wondered who it was. Briefly, she entertained the thought tat it might be JC, for she had tried on a few dresses for him, but ruled out the thought as this was a women's dressing room. She pulled open the door.

There before her stood the sales lady, frazzled as she glimpsed the inside of the dressing room. All at once, Halle felt bad for not taking better care of the dresses. "Sorry, for the mess," she said lamely. "I'll get it."

The sales lady shook her head before stepping forward. "No, I'll get it. That's my job. But I want you to try something on."

"What?" asked Halle suspiciously. She saw the woman was holding a gown of some sort.

She showed it full view to Halle. "It just came in yesterday and we haven't had a chance to put it out yet. It's the new style, a two-piece gown. With your figure, I'm sure it would look wonderful on you!" Halle had already tried on dozens upon dozens of gown. Why was this woman so sure this was going to suit her any better than the others had? "Just give it a try," coaxed the sales lady. "You've got to try something. Nothing else pleased you."

Halle sighed. The sakes lady was right.

"Alright," she said compliant. She started to walk deeper into the dressing room, but stopped as the saleslady's sharp voice rang out.

"Stop!" she said. Halle stopped and looked at her. "In that dressing room," she said as she pointed to one across the hall. "I need to clean up in here."

Halle blushed as she surveyed the mess once more. "I'm sorry..." she started.

"Don't say it!" said the sales lady. "That dressing room, now."

"Yes, ma'am," said Halle as she quickly went off to the other dressing room. As soon as she made it in, she locked the door behind her and sighed. One more dress ... that was all she could take before she had to get out of this store. And then she knew they were going to lunch so she wouldn't be shopping for at least another hour. Halle looked done at the dress, the fatigue apparent in her eyes. Shopping was a chore, but still, she couldn't stop until she found perfection.

The dress was simple, two toned and two pieced, the top rose colored and the bottom the softest pink she had ever seen. It held a metallic shimmer to it like nothing she had ever laid eyes on before. The top was a tube top that came with a short jacket. The bottom though was a flowing princess skirt, it was beautiful. It all seemed very simple on the hanger and she wondered what had possessed the sales lady to think this dress would be perfect for her when she had tried on so many more than had been so much more beautiful on their hangers. Oh well, I promised her I'd give it a try. Might as well. It wouldn't hurt.

Reluctantly, she took the dress of its hangers. She put on the top first. It fit her well. Then she slipped into the skirt, leaving the jacket off. All the while, she hadn't looked in the mirror. The skirt was a bit long she realized as she stepped on the hem, but it was nothing a good pair of heels couldn't fix. She had to stand on her tiptoes then. As she did, she turned around to face the mirror and gasped, her hand coming to her throat in a gesture of surprise.

Such a simple dress was stunning to behold on her. Standing on her tiptoes, the dress just brushed the ground. She brought her hand up to hold her hair and looked at herself in the mirror. The reflection was too good to be true. She looked at her bare mid drift. This was a new style, she had never seen a gown like it before for it most certainly wasn't traditional. She wondered if it was a good idea, but she got to wonder for only a few seconds before a knock came on her door. She opened it to find the sales lady.

The sales lady's reaction was much the same as Halle's had been, but she seemed to find her voice as little better than Halle had. "That dress looks better on you than I thought it would. You look absolutely beautiful."

Halle was about to reply when the sales lady held up a finger as she noticed the length of the gown. "I have just the thing!" she exclaimed as she ran out of the dressing room. Halle just watched her run out in confusion.

The sales lady came back in less than a minute. "Here," she said eagerly, dropping a box near the door of Halle's dressing room and hold out a pair of shoes to her. They were light pink mules that almost matched her skirt down to a tee, but just a little lighter. The slippers had two inch heels of them and looked delicately made with gentle slop lines. The sales lady held them out to her. "I think these would be perfect."

From her prior decision, Halle decided that she trusted the sales lady's taste. She took the heels from her slowly and slipped them on. With the rise she got from the heels, her dress barely touching floor, just enough for a sweeping look.

"I was right, they are perfect!" the saleslady exclaimed.

Halle was inclined to agree. She was finally sure. "Could you please wrap it up?" she asked. "And the shoes too." Halle thought back. "But one favor? Can you please not let the gentleman out there waiting for me see the dress?"

She nodded. "As you like it."

Halle nodded and with a simple 'thanks' in the direction of the lady, put on her clothes. She headed outside once she had them on. JC looked up expectantly. "Find anything?" he asked, expecting the she hadn't. When she nodded, he was surprised. She gestured over to the cash register where the dress and shoes were being rung up, though both hidden from JC's view as Halle had requested.

"Can I see?" he asked as they walked to the cash register together.

She smiled at him. "Uh uh, no peeking. Don't you trust my taste?" she asked with a laugh.

"Well," he thought playfully. "I usually like what you wear, so yes."

Halle blinked twice, She hadn't expected that one.

The sales lady ended her thoughts though as she motioned for her to come closer to the cash register. But when she told her the amount, Halle was horrified. She didn't know what to say. "That," she squeaked. "That is not in my budget." Halle could buy it of course, and still have money left over, but she hadn't been planning to spend that much and on a dress and shoes, nonetheless.

She was about to give in, because she really loved the dress when JC butted in. "Here, I got it," he said handing over his credit card.

"No, wait!" she said, fumbling for her own credit card, but JC was too fast and beat her to the punch. "JC!" she exclaimed.

"Halle!" he said, replying to her with a small grin on his face as he watched the sales lady get the receipt.

"JC, I'm going to owe you forever," she said. "How could you?" she whined.

"How could I what? Help out a friend? See, it's simple, I just took out my credit..."

"JC!" she said, more firmly and gave him the Look. He just laughed at her. "How am I ever going to repay you?" she asked seriously.

He thought for a moment. He was interrupted by his stomach, though, as it growled at him. He smiled. "How's about letting us go to lunch now?"

-*-*-*-

"Where are you going?" asked Halle, as she watched JC drive as he knew where he was going.

"The nearest McDonald's," he answered lightly. "Got a problem with McDonald's?" he asked, teasing her. They had packed her packages into the back of the Jeep and he had promised not to look.

"Oh, no," she said quickly, as she shook her head. "Where is the nearest McDonald's?"

"In the mall about five minutes from here," he answered. "Sound ok to you?"

"Aye, Captain."

He laughed as she mock saluted him. "Alright, matey."

They soon pulled into the parking lot of the mall he had indicated. Both of them got out, closing the doors behind them, and deftly walking up to the tall building. It was a moderately sized mall. She had seen bigger, but she wouldn't call it small. JC held the door open as she walked inside ahead of him.

"I haven't been to this mall in a long time," he commented.

"Did you come here a lot when you were younger?"

"Well, a little bit when I had just started the group and we weren't anything special yet."

"Aww, of course you were special," she said, touching his shoulder in a gesture of kindness, the comfort they felt at this point with each other was beginning to show. "The rest of the world just didn't realize it yet."

He laughed as he let her hand stay where it was. "That's how we like to think."

She laughed as he watched her. "Come on, silly," he said. "You're going to be the death of me. I'm going to die from hunger!"

She laughed as he pulled her along. They were walking along for a little while, both her and his noses bringing then closer to the food.

"Stop!" he suddenly yelled as he jerked to a halt.

"What?! What?!" she asked. Wondering what had made him stop so suddenly.

"I have to go into this store. Hold on for a second." He ran inside before she could say another word. Reluctantly, she followed him inside. She wondered where his hunger had gone to.

She noticed the store was a sporting goods store, exactly the type she would picture JC in. She knew he liked football and basketball. He had mentioned it to her once. She sat down and waited for him at the front of the store while he dashed around. She was tired as it was and eager to eat, but she would pay him the same courtesy he had showed her and wait for him. Soon, he had raced back to the register and smiled at her as he paid. She didn't see what he had bought, but she had been ready to go five minutes ago.

"Ok," he said, walking up to her, about to help her up, when two girls rushed up to him, screaming the entire way. JC and Halle both were caught completely off guard as they stared at the girls. They continued to scream.

"You're JC Chasez, aren't you?" they cried.

"Hehe," JC chuckled nervously. He did not feel like fans right now. Right now, there were only two, but once word got out, there might be a mob. He regretted not having chosen a better disguise. "No, I'm not. A lot of people tell me I look like him though."

"So you're not him?" they asked, disappointed.

"I'm afraid not." He brightened. "This is my wife." He gestured to Halle quickly as she sat there. Her mouth had been set in a little disbelieving frown, but it quickly turned into a smile as the girls' heads spun to see her more clearly.

"You're his wife?" one of them asked.

"Yes I am," she affirmed, deciding to play along with JC's little game.

JC laughed. "Isn't funny how people think I look like JC Chasez, honey?"

She stood up then. "Oh, it's a regular joke, Scott," she said, making use of his middle name. It was a bit obvious, but the two fans didn't seem to notice. Halle, in the meanwhile, was going to have a little fun with this. She took the necessary steps it took to stand behind JC and she slipped her arm around his waist, patting his stomach hard. "Dying yet, sweetie?" she asked evilly, referring to his comment about how she would be the death of him.

"If you only knew," he said throatily as he stared at her. Her arm around his waist threw shocks at his system. He wasn't even expecting it.

"What did you say, darling?" asked Halle, not hearing him. She probably wouldn't have wanted to.

"I said... I'm ready to leave, aren't you?"

She smiled at him then. "Very ready. Nice to meet you girls, but we'll be going now."

They hustled out of the store, leaving the two fans staring wide-eyed at them, even as they turned the corner as disappeared from their sight.

Then they turned to each other. "He sure looked a lot like JC," one of them said.

"Yeah, but he had a wife," the other countered. "JC's not married." She laughed. "Joshua Scott Chasez is mine!"

"Yeah, I guess you're right. That guy's name is Scott, anyway. Hey... wait a minute."

"What?" asked the other.

"Isn't JC's middle name Scott?"

"Yeah," said the other lightly, obviously not catching on yet. "Wait..." she said after a few minutes of silence. "That means he was..."

"JC!" they both yelled at the top of their lungs. Their lungs were young and healthy and loud. Their scream, more of a shriek, reverberated through out the entire mall and it wouldn't be a surprise if s few things broke. They ran after Halle and JC now, trying to track them down, although it was going to be harder now.

Their scream was not deaf upon Halle and JC's ears. They heard it and laughed as they ducked into the nearest store, to hide behind a rack of clothes while they caught their breath. They were laughing at the fans, and at their stupidity.

-*-*-*-

They had chosen a secluded booth over by the far left wall where hardly anyone would notice them. They didn't want another encounter like the last one occurring. Their little corner afforded them some light as well as privacy. For the first time, Halle really looked at JC as they sat eating their Chinese food. When Halle and JC had spied a Chinese restaurant it was 'McDonald's what?' Now they sat, eating quietly, finally appeasing their hunger, As Halle chewed her lo mein, she thoughtfully stared at JC's face. Slowly, he realized her eyes were on him.

"What?" JC asked, now self-conscious. "Do I have something on my face?"

Halle smiled and nodded as she still chewed, quickly swallowing.

"What?" asked JC, embarrassed.

She laughed. "Stubble."

It took him a second to remember he wasn't as clean shaven today as he usually was. "Yeah, well, I had a lot to think about this morning. That's why I forgot to eat breakfast and turned my lunch into brunch."

"Me too," she sighed and chewed about bite of her lo mein.

"Does it look okay?"

"What?" she asked, confused.

"The fact that I haven't shaved and I have this dark stuff on my chin and above my upper lip?."

She laughed as he smiled slightly. "Well, yeah... I like it. Look," she said as she paused. "Don't take this the wrong way. I don't like stubble on most men, but you look... kind of sexy." She blushed at her own words as did he. At least he knew the problem wasn't that she didn't find him attractive. "I like you shaved too though," she added. He just smiled at her, inwardly pleased.

"So what was on your mind this morning?" he asked her, as she continued to blush. He hoped to ease the conversation from her last comment; he knew she was embarrassed.

She swallowed heavily, remembering yesterday. "JC, I... I need to explain to you about yesterday." She knew she was changing her mind, that she hadn't wanted to talk about it this morning, but things had changed. She no longer felt ill at ease with JC, he had made her smile once again. This is what she had needed. Back then, it had been Kel to lighten and open her up. Now it was JC.

JC stopped her. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. I'm not demanding any answers," he said quickly. He was trying to follow everything Kel had said to do. So far, he thought he was successful. He had gotten Halle to laugh and let go. He was thankful to Kel for that.

She shook her head. "I know you're not, but I want to tell you." She corrected herself quickly. "I need to tell you."

He looked like he was about to protest yet again, but he shut his mouth as he reconsidered his decision. Kel had told him to listen, listen carefully.

Halle began. "You know, I thought a lot about yesterday when I got home. I didn't really want to think about, but I knew I had to. I couldn't keep running away and hiding. That's what I was doing yesterday. It was cowardly of me, but I couldn't deal with it right then. I had other things to do." She looked up at him briefly, before continuing to see if he was listening.

"I thought a lot about Raul, and a lot about you too. You were right JC, about everything." She paused. This was difficult for her. "And, I'm sorry... for everything. I mean, here you are, being just wonderful, when you should hate me. I've done nothing but make this hell for the both of us." She really was sorry, sorrier than words could say, but she tried the best she could.

He shook his head. "Halle, don't say that. I might have been mad at you, but it was never hate."

"Well, if I were me I would hate me. Oh," she said sarcastically to herself. "What am I talking about? I do hate me."

"Halle!" said JC. "You don't hate yourself. I don't hate you, Josh doesn't hate you, no one hates you."

"But you should hate me. I...I hurt you."

"No Halle, that's not how it goes. You were hurting. I can't say it was the best way to go about it, but you only hurt me because you were hurt. I understand that."

The words fell out of his mouth a lie newly born. yes, surely he did understand that. Kel had told him that, that she was only hurting him because she was hurting, not because she actually wanted to hurt him. JC believed that. No pressure Kel had warned him, or Halle might shut off again and that was the least of what he wanted. Well, he was doing his best and treading around her words, trying to be the perfect gentleman. Kel's advice had gotten him this far, he would trust it a little farther.

She was about to bawl right then and there.

"What's wrong, Halle?"

She didn't know how to answer. "You're being too wonderful again. I don't deserve any of this, you know." She was looking straight at him with sad eyes.

Once again, he shook his head. "Let me be the judge of that."

She sadly shook her head. "You don't understand, even though you say you do."

"So make me understand." It was a request that she couldn't forget, he had asked that of her before.

She closed her eyes. "Joshua's father showed up a few months ago," Halle stared into her plate as she spoke. She didn't want to see JC's reaction.

JC practically choked on the coke he had ordered. Gathering all his wits and trying to remain calm and understanding, he asked Halle, "What did you do?"

"I let him meet Josh," Halle replied. "It was only fair that he got to meet his own son."

JC was angered by this. How could Halle let the man who ruined her life back in it? How could she expose her son, her pride and joy, to this - this man? Especially since Halle had stopped JC from seeing Josh before, and Halle had trusted JC.

"How- how did Josh take it?" JC asked, trying to mask all his emotions.

"Josh doesn't know that Raul is his father," Halle explained. JC let out a mental sigh of relief. Halle continued. "He just showed up one day. Well, I thought I had seen him on the streets, but I didn't think about it much because I was on my way home. I guess he saw me too, because the next thing I knew, there he was, right behind me, tapping me on the shoulder. he didn't look any different, but when he looked at me... I saw Josh's eyes, even though I didn't want to. I wish Josh had nothing to do with Raul, I wish he didn't even resemble him, but that can't be helped."

"Did.. did he want to..." JC started.

Halle nodded. "Yes. He wanted to see Josh. He knew I was pregnant when he ran away." JC seethed with anger at this man, but Halle laughed bitterly in memory. "He didn't even know his own son's name."

JC winced at that. "So what did you do?" he questioned quickly. He had forgotten all about Kel's rules. It was his turn now.

"It was strange. I didn't feel any which way about him anymore. I mean, I thought I'd be angry, but I wasn't. Well, of course I wouldn't let him up to the apartment. Not after he commented that I must be living 'high on the hog', but I told him he could meet us in the park in a half an hour. I warned him to keep his distance from Josh, because Josh didn't know anything about him and I wanted to keep it that way."

"Did he?" JC asked.

"Yeah, he did. He was ten minutes late, but he came. I remember. It was real breezy that day and I didn't feel it when he tapped me on the shoulder because I thought it was the wind."

"And..." JC persisted, encouraging her to tell him the rest of the story.

"And he had enough decency to do as I asked, and keep his distance from Josh. He came and I acted like I knew him and introduced him to Josh."

"And Josh? How did he take it?" he asked , nervous now as to what her answer might be.

She pursed her lips. "He wasn't that open, just a quick hi and bye to Raul before he went off to play in the sandbox. It surprised me, though, how easily he accepted you and how he didn't his own father."

"That - that man might be Josh's biological father, but he is by no means his father," JC said angrily. "A real father doesn't leave his son."

Halle was surprised by JC's outburst. He had been mellow all day and this was certainly a change. "Josh is kinda use to it, don't you think? Almost everyone has left him," Halle said, looking down, regretting her words immediately. She hadn't been thinking.

There was a pause before JC spoke. "That wasn't fair Halle."

She continued to look down and closed her eyes as emotion surged through her. "I know, I'm sorry. I... I spoke without thinking. I have a tendency to do that."

"It's different with me, Halle," JC argued, still appalled by her comparison of him to Raul. "I left because I had to," he justified.

"Don't you think that wasn't Raul's excuse too?" Halle's voice was low now, a bit accusing, and a bit surprised. Scenes of Raul in the park with her, watching Josh, talking with her as she stonily answered him were coming back to her. "I know that wasn't fair either. I shouldn't compare you to him, but isn't the result the same, no matter which way you try to angle it? You're still gone and it still hurts."

"But Halle," he said quietly, reaching over to put his hand over hers. "You're missing it entirely."

She looked up at him, surprised to find his warm hand on hers. It sent little shocks through her system. "What's am I missing?" she asked, her throat dry.

"When I leave, you know I still care."

She didn't understand him, she didn't know if she ever would. Why he still cared, why he still looked beyond her flaws to try to find the real her was beyond her comprehension. She wondered what he saw behind the thick wall she had built. She wanted to know because she was searching for her too.

-*-*-*-