"Hello?" Halle asked groggily. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she squinted at the red lights on the digital clock by her bed. 5:32 AM. Who could possibly be calling at this God-forbidden hour? She fumbled with the telephone receiver, which lay on the nightstand by her bed.

"May I speak to Halle please?" a polite voice asked from the other end.

"This is she," Halle replied slowly, still wondering who it could possibly be.

"Halle? It's Justin," he answered her mental question.

"Justin?" she echoed, recognizing the boy's name. He was one of JC's bandmates, a friend. Why would he be calling? "What can I do for you? Is everything all right?"

"I'm sorry for calling you this early, but this was the only time today that I could get a chance to call," Justin apologized.

"It's all right," Halle replied politely.

"Anyway, I was wondering what you were doing tonight," Justin continued.

"I'm not sure yet," Halle answered, uncertain. Where was Justin heading with this

conversation? "Why?"

"We're leaving tonight, and I was wondering if you could come to the airport to see us off," Justin pleaded. "We wanted to see you before we left."

We? Halle thought sarcastically to herself. "I'll have to see what I'm doing first, Justin," she made an exit for herself. She really did not want to go to the airport. Seeing JC was the last thing on her mind.

"Please Halle?" he begged. "JC's too proud to ask you himself."

"Then he really doesn't want me there."

"Yes he does!" Justin insisted. "Halle, you should see the poor guy. He - "

"Poor?" Halle echoed. She forced out a bitter laugh. "Yeah, Justin. He was really

poor when he took out that girl."

"Are you jealous?" Justin teased.

As much as Halle didn't want to turn the situation into a happy one, she knew that this boy had the ability to do that. The funny thing was that she didn't mind. "No!" she cried, rather quickly. "It's just that - I dunno." A warmth crept into Halle's face. Oh great, now JC had turned her into a blubbering little girl rather than the eloquent professional she was.

"Please Halle? For me?" Halle could picture Justin on the other end of the phone, sitting on the bed of his hotel room, pouting as if it would help her make up her mind.

"I'll see Justin," she sighed. "No promises, though."

"Oh, and bring Josh, too," Justin added, as if she had just given him a definite "yes."

"Of course I'll bring Josh if I decide to go," Halle exclaimed.

"We're leaving from the Newark Airport 'cause JFK and all them are just way too crowded."

"Newark?" Halle sputtered. "Justin, that's like, a good drive away!"

"You don't have a car?"

"Justin, do you know how much insurance costs in New York City?"

"Uh, I'm guessing a lot more than it costs in Orlando?"

"Exactly."

"I could send someone over to pick you guys up," Justin suggested, hopeful.

Halle sighed. "I'm sorry Justin. It's just not going to work, especially since you'll be leaving late tonight."

"Please Halle?"

"I'm sorry Justin."

Justin sighed. "Thanks anyway."

"Good luck to you guys, OK?"

"This isn't good-bye, Halle," Justin practically scolded her.

"It is for now," she yawned. "It's still early on a Sunday morning, Justin. I wanna go back to bed."

Justin let out a laugh. "OK, well I'll see you when I see you."

"Good-bye." Halle hung up the phone and rolled over onto her stomach. She closed her eyes, trying to revert back to the peaceful mode of unconsciousness she had been in when the phone rang.

Suddenly Josh started crying. Halle jumped out of bed at his shrill voice. "Mama," he sobbed. She hurried into his room.

"Shh, it's OK Josh," she whispered, trying to comfort him. She picked him up and held him in her arms, trying to rock him back to sleep.

"Mama," Josh started again.

"What's wrong Baby?" she asked.

"I miss Blue." With that, Josh let out a fresh set of tears. Halle looked up to the ceiling. If you're really up there, God, she thought, just please help me get through this mess.

-*-*-*-

Kel came over for brunch later that morning, a routine observance for them.

"Gee, you look like hell, Hal," Kel commented as she let herself into the apartment.

"Thanks for the support," Halle returned sarcastically.

"Rough night?"

"Rough morning," Halle explained. "First Justin called, waking me up... "

"Justin? What happened to JC?" Kel went searching through the cabinets for bowls.

"Justin was calling to ask me to come to the airport and see them off tonight," Halle continued. "It was about five in the morning, too."

"Early? Isn't he the one that doesn't talk until he's had his cereal or something?"

Halle planted her hands on her hips and stared at her best friend. "And how would you know that?" she demanded.

Kel shrugged as a soft red flush came to her cheeks. "I just hear these types of

things."

"Uh huh," Halle was unconvinced. "Anyway, he had to call early 'cause he wouldn't get another chance to call later in the day."

"So are you going?"

"Hell no, Kel!"

"Why not?"

"First off, they're leaving late tonight, like around eleven, and that's too late for Josh."

"So he'll sleep late tomorrow, and I get a couple extra hours of free time," Kel shrugged. "Next problem?"

"They're leaving from Newark, not JFK. I have no way of getting down there."

"Use my car," Kel answered. "It only looks like it's about to fall apart. It really runs quite smoothly."

"Kel!"

"Hal!" Kel mimicked. "Come on, admit it. You just don't want to go see JC again for some unknown reason."

"Because good-byes are just too hard," Halle tried to explain. She was frustrated. Why couldn't Kel understand?

"I think you're just afraid that something might happen."

"Like what?" Halle challenged.

"Like you'll admit to yourself that you really like this guy," Kel rolled her eyes. "And then if you do that, you'll tell him."

"Not in a million years!"

Kel held up a hand, signaling that she wasn't done her story. "And you're afraid that he's going to hurt you somehow."

Halle was quiet for a moment. "OK, so what if I am scared? Isn't not getting hurt a good enough reason?"

"But Halle, think of the other side," Kel pleaded. "It could be the best thing that's ever happened to you. What if he is the one? Love, Halle. It's an amazing thing."

Halle mulled over Kel's idea. Then she turned to her friend and teased, "Look at you! Since when did you become an expert on love? It's that Alex guy, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is," Kel said simply, "and nice try, Hal, but you're not changing the subject here."

Halle sighed, caught. "I'm thinking about it."

"Are you gonna go?"

"I said I'm thinking about it!"

"OK, sheesh," Kel shook her head. "No need to bite my head off."

"Sorry," Halle apologized.

"Well just let me know sometime today." Kel left the room to go check on Josh.

Halle sat alone at her kitchen table. A few days ago, she was sitting there with JC, and they were happy. Why couldn't she be happy again?

-*-*-*-

"... flight 217 to Orlando has been delayed for another hour..."

The whole *N SYNC team at the airport let out a collective moan. Shaking his head in disgust, JC sat on the floor and tried to get some shut-eye before the flight home. "My life just gets better," he grumbled.

"Hey, you OK, Daddy?"

JC cracked one eye open and saw Justin hovering above him. The younger boy looked worriedly at the older that laid on the floor.

JC sighed. He was too tired to care how he came across to Justin. "Why didn't she just let me say good-bye to him?" JC sighed. "Why did she push me away?" He looked up at Justin, eyes pleading, searching the younger's face as if it held the answers to his questions.

Justin sat on the floor right next to where JC laid. "I don't know, Daddy," Justin answered pathetically. It angered him, no, it pained him, beyond belief that he could not do a thing to help his ailing friend. "But I think her past experiences might have something to do with it."

"She trusted me, Justin," JC insisted, as if pleading with his friend to believe him. "She trusted me with Josh, and she was opening up to me."

They both sat in silence. For once, Justin had no idea what to say. After a few minutes, though, JC sighed,

"I just wish I could've said 'bye, the right way you know?" He paused. "Just to tell

him that I cared."

"Him, or her?" Justin asked skeptically, well aware that JC meant his statement more towards Halle.

JC didn't answer at first. "You're right, her," he admitted, "but both really. Josh is really a great boy." He let out a chuckle. "And he called me - "

"Blue!"

JC looked at Justin, but Justin just returned the baffled expression.

"Wha - " Justin looked around, puzzled. He couldn't find the source of the voice. JC, too, sat up and searched their surroundings.

"Blue!" The voice echoed down the some-what empty corridor.

They heard it again, and both boys jumped to their feet. "Look," Justin pointed, grinning. Halle was pushing Josh in his stroller, the little boy trying to squirm out of his seat. Halle gave Justin and JC a tired smile and continued closer to the terminal.

Returning the smile, JC's eyes began to water, his throat getting tight. She came. They came.

"Oh, Daddy," Justin called as he headed to greet Halle, "about how much you care, I think you should tell her." Justin winked.

Halle had an exhausting day, JC could tell, but despite her tired look, she still exuded a confidence that intimidated JC. He hardly saw Halle out of her work clothes, but he liked her appearance more when she was in her street clothes. She looked comfy and happy.

As she approached the terminal, the *N SYNC security guards stopped her. Halle looked too tired to argue with them. Justin uttered a few words to them, and they let her pass.

"Blue!" Josh cried, jumping out of his stroller. Halle glanced at Josh, making sure he was OK before giving Justin a hug.

"You came," Justin commented. "How?"

"Kel loaned me her old clunker. I was afraid it might break down, but we made it alright. It - it really was a last-minute decision," Halle replied. "I guess I felt bad for doing that to Josh and not letting him say good-bye to JC."

Justin nodded in agreement, "It was only fair."

Halle glanced wistfully over to where the little boy had run over to JC. JC had scooped up Josh into his arms.

"Josh cried when he found out."

"They were close," Justin spoke up. "JC... he really loves him."

"I was trying to prevent this, the pain of saying good-bye," Halle watched the interaction that took place between the older and younger Joshes. "But by the time... well it was too late already. Josh was already way too attached."

"Just Josh?" Justin asked softly, trying to get something out of Halle.

Halle's gaze quickly met Justin's steady one. "I'm going to miss him lots, too," she admitted.

"Halle," Justin pleaded, "please tell him. He thinks that you're so angry with him."

"It's better this way, Justin."

"How?" he challenged.

"Less pain if we don't know," she tried to rationalize.

"But you already know, don't you?"

Halle just shrugged. "Not really."

Justin was taken aback. He thought that Halle knew how JC felt towards her, but apparently he was wrong. This is a whole lot more complicated than I thought, Justin mused. He was about to ask Halle another question, but she had begun moving towards the two Joshes.

"... you know that I'm going away, right Buddy?" JC asked Josh. The little one nodded. "I might be gone for a while, but I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Promise?" Josh looked up at the elder.

"Promise," JC nodded. He briefly glanced up when Halle approached, then turned back to Josh. "You know that little paper I gave you?" The younger Josh nodded again. "Anytime you need me, you just use the phone and call that number."

"On the phone?" Josh's eyes widened.

"Yep, on the phone."

Halle was smiled, and she couldn't help it. She was glad now that she had brought Josh. This would bring some closure to the week.

"Mommy, can I call Blue tomorrow?" Josh turned to his mom.

"I think JC means only call for emergencies," Halle said softly.

"But he said anytime," Josh protested, turning to face JC. "Right Blue?"

"Anytime," JC reaffirmed. "Call collect if you have to."

Justin had been watching from a few feet away, and he could sense that Halle and JC needed to talk. Taking a cue, he walked over to where the three sat, noticing the whole time how they looked picture-perfect.

"Hey, Josh, I saw some delicious candy bars in a store over there," Justin pointed down the corridor. "Wanna come with me to get some?"

"Yeah!" Josh exclaimed. Then he turned to Halle, "Can I Mommy?"

"Justin, if anything happens to my son... " Halle warned playfully.

"You can kill me," Justin grinned. He took Josh's hand and they headed off, followed by one of their bodyguards. Seeing that security would be trailing the two, she felt better about letting Josh go with Justin.

Halle and JC were left in silence. She didn't know what to say, and JC didn't know how to say what he wanted. Finally, JC blurted something out, anything to start conversation.

"Thanks for bringing Josh by so I could say good-bye," JC thanked, looking into

Halle's eyes.

She couldn't take his blue-eyed gaze. She felt like she was being sucked in every time she looked into his eyes. And she was. All resolve she had began to weaken when he looked at her. Halle felt so open and vulnerable to him when he looked at her. She was drowning in his pools of blue.

"I - I'm really sorry Josh," she whispered. "I know it hurt you a lot not to say good-bye, but I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought that it would hurt less if I stopped it, but I was wrong. It was already too late. Josh cried terribly Friday." She knew she was babbling now, but she didn't care; she knew JC was still listening.

"I'm just glad you came," JC still gazed at her. "I thought you'd be mad at me... "

"Mad for what?" Halle returned his gaze with her own confused one.

JC hesitated. "For Friday at the restaurant with Heather."

Halle had forgotten about the incident for a little, but now that JC brought it up again, her heart grew cold at the thought. Suddenly it all came back to her, the pain that she felt the other night.

After Halle got home that night, she had cried. She was hurt and jealous, she figured, and they weren't common characteristics of her. But lately, though, she didn't know what was common of her. Lying in bed that night, she knew where she stood with JC; they were just friends. He never took Halle out like that, never even bothered to ask. At first she wasn't sure why she was so jealous, but then she went back to an earlier realization; she liked JC.

"Why should I be mad at about that?" she shrugged, trying to play off her feelings.

"You had as much right to be there as I did. You are entitled to a normal life, including dating." Halle's voice remained neutral, revealing none of the emotions she felt.

JC was shocked. He could've sworn that anyone in Halle's position would be furious. Then again, she isn't just anyone, he reminded himself. She doesn't need you, Chasez. She never has.

He turned his face away from hers so that she couldn't see the anguish on his own. "I - don't know," JC said slowly. "I just thought you might be. I mean, look at the way I reacted when you were talking about Mike."

"I'm not a jealous guy," Halle forced out a laugh. No, I'm just a jealous girl, she added to herself.

JC just nodded slowly. She doesn't care at all. The sinking feeling he had began to feel a few minutes earlier intensified.

"Flight 217 to Orlando will begin boarding all first class, handicapped, and child passengers at this time. Please proceed to the gate," an announcement was made. Amidst the confusion of Halle's arrival, the flight must have landed.

"That's us," JC stood up. Halle arose too, just as Justin returned with Josh.

"Ready, Daddy?" Justin asked, picking up his carry-on luggage.

"I'll be along," JC nodded.

Justin turned to Halle. "Thanks for making our stay in New York memorable," he gave her a hug. Although she was nearly five years older than the young man, he was a good five or six inches taller than she, and he carried himself as if he were one of her peers. Halle admired his maturity. "We'll be in touch."

"You better," Halle threatened playfully. "Just give me a ring anytime you're in the city."

"We'll do that," he agreed. He gave Josh a hug. "You listen to your mom, Josh, OK? She knows what's up."

"'Bye Justy," Josh stood on his tip-toes to hug Justin even though Justin was kneeling. With a final wave, he was off. Halle could sense that Josh was also beginning to like Justin. This was not going to be easy at all.

The other three members of the group all hugged Halle and Josh, speaking their salutations. Each of them had made Halle feel welcome as she worked with them the previous week, and she felt that over that short amount of time, she had become acquaintances, if not friends, with each of them.

"You comin' Daddy?" Lance asked from the mouth of the tunnel.

"I'll be there," JC repeated as the flight attendant announced the boarding of business class and coach.

Now only Halle, JC, and Josh remained. Josh looked up at JC. "Are you leaving now, Blue?" he asked, his tiny voice starting to quiver.

"Hey, do you remember what I said?" JC knelt in front of the boy.

"You're coming back?" he recalled.

"Definitely," JC answered. He reached behind his neck, removing the Leo necklace that he wore. "Just to make sure that I mean it, I'll let you hang on to this for me while I'm away."

Halle's jaw nearly dropped to the floor as she witnessed JC clasp the necklace onto Josh. JC never took off that necklace, much less part with it. Now he was giving it to Josh. Only then did Halle realize that JC was intent on keeping his promise of return.

"You be good, OK, Buddy?" JC said as he and the boy hugged. After they pulled apart, JC stood up and patted the boy on his head. Halle could see the tears forming in JC's eyes.

"Why don't you go over to that big window and see if you can find Justin?" JC suggested. Obediently, Josh ran to the window.

JC was now faced with saying good-bye to Halle. He really had no idea what to say at this point, but luckily Halle saved him for having to think of something.

"That was really sweet of you to give Josh," Halle said quietly. She hesitated before asking again, "Will you - will you be back?"

"I keep my promises," JC pulled Halle in for a hug.

She didn't resist any part of the hug; she wouldn't allow it. Before she would have, but not this time. Somehow, Halle felt comfortable in his arms, as if she belonged there, secure and safe from any harm.

"I'll be back," he whispered into her ear, his breath tickling her skin. Halle's sense were going into overdrive, and she wondered if JC's were, too.

She took in everything about him in those few moments. His sweet smell, the smoothness of his skin, how her head fit perfectly on his chest, his deep and rhythmic breathing, his strong arms hold her body, the fast beating of his heart in time with hers...

No, it must be my own.

When they finally pulled apart, tears filled Halle's eyes. She had been trying to prevent all this sorrow, this unusual display of emotion, but it was all already too late. She couldn't look at him in fear that she would cry, and heaven forbid that JC saw her cry.

But JC knew anyway, he felt the same. "Hey, don't cry, Halle," he tilted her face up to his, forcing her to look into his clear blue eyes.

What Halle saw scared her. Just by looking into his eyes, Halle realized just how wrong she had been all along. JC really cared about her and Josh, no matter how much she wanted to deny it. There was nothing she could do to stop him, either.

"Good-bye, Halle," JC whispered, his face lowering to hers. Their lips barely touched, but Halle felt as if she was zapped with a thousand volts of electricity. For a brief moment, nothing in the world matter. It was only them, alone. His lips lingered over hers for an instant, and then in another JC was halfway to the terminal.

JC waved good-bye to Josh as the little boy came running back to his mother. He was the last one to board the plane, JC was. At the end of the tunnel, before he turned into the plane, JC hesitated, looking back.

Josh was in Halle's arms, weeping. And although Halle tried her best to look calm, JC could tell how disoriented she really was. He wanted to turn back, to stay a few more days, but he knew it wasn't possible then. He turned away and forced himself to walk. If he stayed any longer, watching, he was afraid that he would stay permanently.

No! Halle's heart cried out. Don't go! Stay, please. I love you. But no matter what her heart wanted to scream, her mouth remained shut. She walk not be the one to take JC away from his job, even though she knew he would if she asked.

She could tell all by the kiss. It was a simple gesture, but it held so many implications. It didn't even last a second, but Halle knew that his kiss could carry her forever.

She stopped herself, remembering the pain another little kiss earlier in the week had brought. It meant nothing to him, she recalled, as they had argued and he had gone out with someone else.

Only then, after JC could no longer see them, and only then after she re-evaluated, did she allow herself to bury her face into her son's hair and mourn along with him.

-*-*-*-

Little did Halle know that JC could see her and Josh from the plane as they awaited take-off. He couldn't make out any details, but from the way they sat, he knew that both were crying. How he longed to join them, wrap his arms around them, and comfort them.

She won't have it, though, he thought bitterly. She's just upset 'cause Josh is upset. She could care less if you dropped off the face of the earth.

"You love her, don't you?" Lance asked softly as the cabin lights dimmed.

"She doesn't love me," JC said ruefully, still staring out the window, "so what does it matter?"

"But did you tell her?" Lance asked.

JC shook his head. "It wouldn't matter, Lansten. Not this time," he answered in a hushed tone.

Lance knew that the situation was complicated. He didn't know, though, how Halle felt towards his friend, but he knew that JC was in love with this girl. Everyone knew that JC was impeccable when it came to girls, and Lance knew that Halle had to be special to send this sensible JC into irrational moods like this.

"I - um - wrote something for your song," Lance said hesitantly, hoping that JC wouldn't snap at him and tell him to leave him alone.

"So did I," JC replied absently. He continued to stare out the window, so Lance did not press the issue. A few moments later, he dug into his bag. Tossing a few folded sheets of paper over to Lance, he said, "Here. See where it all fits in."

Not wanting to bother JC further, Lance unfolded the papers. Slowly, as he fished for his own paper, the plane began to roll along.

JC still stared out the window, and he continued to do so even as the plane ascended higher and higher into the air. He watched until he could no longer see Halle and Josh, and watched even past that point. His gaze remained undiverted until the lights of Newark, New Jersey disappeared. Like a candle being snuffed, so did his hopes of someday being with the one who could truly make him happy.

He always kept his promises, JC did, and he would be back to see Josh. But he knew that Halle's reception of him would be less than enthusiastic. Every shred of happiness that he experienced in the past week had been replaced with hopelessness. JC doubted he could ever find someone like her ever again, and he didn't want to. He wanted Halle. He wanted Halle with all her imperfections and all her glories. He just wanted her.

"What do you think, Daddy?" Lance asked hesitantly. JC knew that his friends were wary in approaching him then, and he felt guilty. For the past week he had neglected them, and even now they were being decent to him even though he felt as if he didn't deserve their kindness. But all the guys realized after a while that JC was going through a tough time and cut him some slack.

JC took the papers from Lance. He recognized his own lyrics, but some had been moved around to be lyrical sound. He noticed Lance's lines, too, and then he began to think. He hummed a few bars, singing the song in is mind. Finally, laying the papers down, he stared at Lance.

"You don't like 'em?" the blond asked nervously. "I can change 'em. We can put it back to normal."

A grin broke out on JC's face. "It's perfect, Lansten," JC reassured. Relief swept across the younger's face. "Absolutely brilliant."

Lance eyed JC skeptically. "Why do you have that evil grin on your face, Daddy?" Lance asked slowly. "You're freaking me out."

"My mama once told me," JC imitated Forrest Gump, "'if you think she's worth it, change her mind,' and I think I just found a way to change her mind."

JC's excitement began to rub off on Lance. They knew the song would be a hit with the record execs and the fans. If all went well, JC could get much more than he wanted.